Oiroke no Jutsu
by Winter Ashby
Summary: Oiroke no Jutsu! POOF! Sasuke kun? Are you drunk? [Sakura & Sasuko: Sexy no Jutsu!Sasuke] YURI & CRACK aliciousness.


**Title:** Oiroke no jutsu**  
Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto-sama. **  
Rating: **M for blatant sexuality (nothing explicit) Adult content and themes.  
**Warning**: Involves homosexuality and masturbation. COME ON... look at the title! 'Sexy no Jutsu', of course it's going to be perverted.  
**Summary: **Oiroke no Jutsu! POOF! Sasuke-kun? Are you drunk? (Sakura & Sasuko: Sexy no Jutsu!Sasuke) YURI & CRACK-a-licious-ness.  
**Timeline**: TWT (Timeline, what timeline?) Spoilers for Chapter 347 (Sai and Sasuke Oiroke no Jutsu: Otoko no ko Doushi from Konohamaru)  
**Authors Notes:** Okay a little Naruto info before we get started. Oiroke no jutsu means sexy no jutsu. Otoko no ko Doushi means boy companion and Onna no ko Doushi means girl companion. And as for those of you who think that sexy no jutsu makes you changed gender... I implore you to pay closer attention. When the Konohmaru Korps do the team oiroke jutsu (Purin Purin no Jutsu), Moegi (the girl on their team) ALSO becomes a WOMAN, but a hot one!!! So, if Sakura learned the technique, then she would be come a hot girl - not a man. Sorry. Oh, and DO HEED the rating. It's a strong M. Seriously.

* * *

"Oiroke no jutsu!" 

_POOF!_

"Sasuke-kun? Are you drunk?" Sakura stood in the middle of a deserted Konoha street, staring at a very attractive, naked, female Sasuke.

"Sakura-san, won't you come play with me?" The girl version of him put a finger to her lips as the thin tendrils of smoke around her breasts, and a little farther down, were beginning to dissipate into the warm summer breeze.

Sakura's nose bled.

"Sakura-san, you're bleeding! Let me take care of that for you." Sasuko moved slowly, her breasts bouncing slightly, her long black hair pulled into pigtails on either side of her head.

But her eyes were the same. Same cold black, empty, voids they'd always been. "Sasuke-kun how did you learn Naruto' jutsu?"

Sasuko smiled, wicked little pointed teeth slipping past the pout of her shinning lips. "Sakura-san, I'm surprised." The girl chortled, and Sakura resisted the urge to back away from the menacing, dangerous smile.

But while Sakura was busy watching the way the streetlights reflected off of her lips, full and ripe-pink, probably sweet with strawberry lip gloss, the girl's eyes swirled red, and three black dots appearing in succession.

"Kakashi-sempai uses the same trick." She smiled, less menacing, more enticing.

"You used sharingan to copy oiroke no jutsu?" her hand trembled as she moved it from her mouth, where she hadn't realized she'd been stroking her own lips, imagining what it would taste like to kiss her, and hung it at her side.

"I've improved it, don't you think?" She asked, temping, seducing, she licked her lips as the last of the smoke cleared and Sakura's mouth went dry. "Kage Bushin no jutsu!"

_POOF!_

There were two of them, both delicious, both smiling, both gloriously naked. Their skin illuminated in the lamp light, skin like candles against the dead black of night, an iridescent glow around the crown of their heads, black hair falling like waves over the exposed curves of their bodies.

Sakura stopped breathing. A steady tickle of blood dripped from her nose, splattering against the dirt. She didn't wipe it away.

"Sakura-san, are you not pleased?" the one to the right asked, her bare feet moving in the dirt.

"Sasu…"

"Is this not what you want, Sakura-san?" the left one moved forward now, her hand outstretched to touch Sakura's arm.

She was warm, and soft. Her fingertips grazed over Sakura's arm like the gentle stoke of a painter who makes love to his canvas with color and texture.

"Wha…?" nothing made sense. The earth was spinning and Sakura could feel something erupt in the pit of her stomach, angry and hungry. It growled. She growled. Low, in her throat, like a predator as they flanked her from both sides, wrapping their arms around her waist, pressing their exposed chests against her arms.

She could feel them against her skin, real and solid as anyone she'd ever touched. She wanted to close her eyes and fall away, into the spiraling heat that plummeted down, down, _down_. Farther between her legs, where no man had ever been, just her own hand, on lonely nights when she thought of Sasuke and cried out his name quietly in the bathtub.

"Does this please you, Sakura-san?" one of them whispered it; spoke against the shell of her ear. Her skin prickled and ran cold, along her spine and up her arms. She could _feel_ warm, sweet breath on her neck.

"Is this what you want?" the other cooed, gently pulling her hand up. Over the swell of Sakura's breasts, over her heart that beat so fast she thought she might die. It was like the beating of a humming bird's heart, just as fragile, just as fast.

One of them, (_did it matter which?_), moved a hand to touch the skin of her neck, around her clavicle. Her nail twisted in small, swirling circles, like the feeling, the urge, unquenchable need that was already spiraling away inside of Sakura.

"Tell me you want this." She swore it was Sasuke's voice then, rich and deep. Not the light, high voice of Sasuko, with her tantalizing skin and pink, strawberry lips. It rumbled in her chest and made the crystalline illusion of the heavenly bodies hanging off her like lavish, exotic accessories tear.

Sakura woke up. Panting, grasping for the warm bodies that weren't there, never were, never would be.

"Ughnm" she sighed heavily and crinkled the side of her face at the sticky fluid that clung between her tightly clenched thighs.

---

"I dreamed of _him_ again." She told Ino, over a cup of tea under a tree. 

"Oh?" she asked, keeping her voice carefully even. "What about?"

"He used _that_ again."

"I see." She took a long, slow sip. "Which variation?" Sakura blushed furiously and looked pointed away, at anything besides Ino. "Oh." She paused, gauging Sakura's reaction. "Have you told Naruto yet?"

"No." Sakura said, resting her cup gently on the bench and folding her green-painted-fingernailed hands in her lap.

"Don't you think you ought to?"

She hated when Ino got like this, _maternal_. Sakura gave her a withering look and stood.

"You know," Ino called casually as Sakura picked up her cup, back turned, and headed for the tea stand. "You could always just try asking Naruto to teach you."

"Why?" Sakura shot back, looking over her shoulder, "So I can _pretend_ that it's… him?"

"Sometimes, pretending is better than nothing." Ino called and took another sip of her steaming tea.

---

Sakura showed up at Naruto's door, hours later, as the sun was sinking into the forest to the west.

"Sakura-chan?" he asked, hand on the door, face fallen open, not even trying to hide the joy in his eyes.

She twisted her foot on the wooden planks of the walkway and pulled at the hem of her pull away skirt. "Ne, Naruto" she didn't look him in the eyes, "would you mind teaching me kage bushin no jutsu and oiroke no jutsu?"

He didn't say anything at first. And in a fit of panic, she looked up just in time to see the ghost of a smile whisper across his face.

"You wanna learn otoko no ko doushi, don't ya?" Naruto slung his arms across his chest and look positively smug.

"No." Sakura whispered quietly, the memory of Konohamaru's bushin transforming into Sai and Sasuke together wasn't what she had in mind. "I was thinking more along the lines of onna no ko doushi."

"Oh." Naruto never looked happier.

* * *

This also started off as an LJ joke. For **desert anbu**, who posted in my community, pinkcrack. She was looking for something with sexy no jutsu!Sasuke. And I didn't know of anything, so I decided to write it for her. Honestly, I have too much time on my hands a work. Poor, angsty, lesbian Sakura. Oh, this is also my first yuri. I don't know why I never got around to writing one sooner.

It was supposed to be a parody. I swear, I can't be funny. It's impossible. I suck at life, the funny parts at least. All I can do is angst. Even when it's ridiculous angst.

Seriously though, that's kind of messed up if you think about it. Make you wonder what Naruto does with all those kage bushin he's got laying around on a lonely summer night... don't you think? Gives you a whole new meaning to 'love thy self' right??? Ew, I totally just grossed myself out.

Also, this was WAY too much fun to write.


End file.
